Mind/Body Nutrition Coaching by Aline Vann

Becoming a Queen

Why is it that movies often portray princesses to be kind hearted, and compassionate, while queens, on the other hand, are cast as evil and controlling.  Do we women really get bitter and selfish as we get older?


I actually disagree with that tired, inaccurate portrayal of aging women.


In reality, stepping into “Queendom” is a beautiful thing. It’s reminiscent of the ever-changing caterpillar, repeatedly outgrowing and shedding her skin, until she eventually transforms into a beautiful butterfly. Yes, the caterpillar is truly lovely in her own right, but as a butterfly, she finally fulfills her purpose, and becomes the creature she was put on this Earth to be.


What does this transformation really mean for us? Let’s assume that our “Princess” phase lasts sometime from birth through our mid thirties. During this time of our lives, we go through periods of uncertainty, questioning who we really are. This is a beautiful time of discovery.  I see it in my teenaged daughter and her friends every day. In fact, I saw it when my daughter was a toddler, and I witnessed her tireless attempts to figure out how to climb a flight of stairs, or to master the skill required to solve a favorite puzzle.  I DEFINITELY remember going through it myself.


You may be thinking, “If princesses are associated with youth and beauty, then why can’t we just stay princesses forever?” It sounds good for a second or two, but then we quickly reconsider. Why? Well, for one, it’s exhausting!  Princesses frequently rely on confirmation from the outside world for validation. Unfortunately, society often tells princesses that they are not enough. This stress of wanting and/or needing constant approval from others encourages these vulnerable girls and women to fall into a comparison trap which often leaves them feeling that they must look and act a certain way to be accepted and loved. (As a parent, I think that social media has only worsened the problem.) Sadly, these messages can leave our society with wounded princesses, and disrupt the natural transformation into Queendom.

As we enter our 30s, we begin (hopefully) getting in touch with the blossoming Queen that resides in each of us. This metamorphic journey isn’t always smooth, and occasionally requires going backwards in order to move forwards. Nevertheless, it is a journey we must take to truly step into the women we are meant to be.  


Here are three signs that you are releasing your princess, and rightfully finding your place in the sisterhood of Queendom. 

  • You still try to eat healthy (most of the time), and incorporate exercise and movement into your life, but now it’s for different reasons. You realize that you are done with eliminating entire food groups and spending extra time on the treadmill afterwards just because you want a Hot Body. Keep in mind, this doesn’t mean you are throwing in the towel and simply giving up on good nutrition and exercise. It’s about realizing that these things are important, not because of the way they make you look in a bikini, but because they allow you to fulfill your purpose by enjoying your life, and sharing your gifts with the world.
  • You realize that energy spent on your relationships gives a better return on your investment than energy spent on counting fat grams, points or calories.  Again, not to say that you shouldn’t continue maintaining your healthy eating habits, but now you understand that you only have so much energy, and by focusing too much energy on weight, you have less energy to spend on your spiritual growth, and your relationships with other people. Stepping into your Queendom means that you are stepping into a deeper WHY for the choices you make regarding your health.
  • You learn that it’s more important to LIVE like a Warrior, than to have a Warrior’s Body. You have realized that those five vanity pounds won’t impact your ability to step into your higher purpose. So while you enjoy the full benefits of living a healthy lifestyle, you know that the people you spend time serving really don’t care if you are a size 6 or a size 8. They care much more about the fact that by being there for them, you are showing them that you value them as human beings.


So, while both the Princess and Queen archetypes serve a purpose in our lives, being stuck in our Princess longer than we should be, and failing to take our rightful place in Queendom, can cause us to feel unbalanced and unfulfilled.


As Queens, we not only get to tap into our full potential as spiritual beings, we also get the joy of helping the Princesses in our lives begin to do the same. We can help them with their transformation by teaching them that they are lovable no matter where they are on their journey, and that their personal transformation into Queendom lies within.


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